Recently, there was an astronomical event so special it only happens once a year. Mother Earth, tired of winter and her frigid demeanor, spun its mighty girth southward causing it’s subsolar point (the place on Earth's surface where the center of the Sun is exactly overhead) to cross the equator. In layman’s terms: spring has sprung in Buenos Aires.
If Mother Earth put all this work into springing spring, we shouldn’t be selfish idiots and not celebrate such an event. This is common courtesy, we need to celebrate. In this case it’s a three month celebration where the days get longer, shorts get shorter, and the city gets that magical, perpetual-park-day feeling where you can just taste November. And for any good celebration, you’re going to need the proper attire.
The proper attire begins from the ground up. Any dapper gent worth his cotton socks knows the quintessential piece for a springtime done right is a pair of white shoes. Done properly, a pair of white shoes can make you more attractive, make you run faster and jump higher, and quite possibly cement your status as a total boss. The best part is white shoes go with almost everything. You can mix it up with jeans, khakis or even with a suit (see dapper gents and total bosses below).
So let’s not be selfish idiots and show Mother Earth we care. Wear white shoes in springtime. Be a boss.
By Ephraim Austin